Bleah Patterson
In a parallel universe I am borrowing grief from my daughter, who has it to spare
her absence is not because she wasn’t wanted
but because I didn’t want to be
a braided thing, my legs him between I didn’t
want to be I didn’t want
and I said as much but he too drunk to care
knew I’d only ever known men like containers
only known women like water it’s been seven years
and no one ever asks why I stay so quiet about her
politeness is catching down here
so is silence
but I think about washing her blueberries
I think about the frayed hair
of the dolls I bought her not the pills not
not the way I washed
her away I think about her bud of a peony
cascaron mouth, bursting open hear her tin can full of alms
laughter rattling in my sleep
her absence is not because she wasn’t wanted
but because I didn’t want to be
a braided thing, my legs him between I didn’t
want to be I didn’t want
and I said as much but he too drunk to care
knew I’d only ever known men like containers
only known women like water it’s been seven years
and no one ever asks why I stay so quiet about her
politeness is catching down here
so is silence
but I think about washing her blueberries
I think about the frayed hair
of the dolls I bought her not the pills not
not the way I washed
her away I think about her bud of a peony
cascaron mouth, bursting open hear her tin can full of alms
laughter rattling in my sleep
--
Bleah (blay-uh) Patterson is a queer, southern poet born and raised in Texas. She has been a Pushcart and Best of Net nominee. Much of her work explores the contention between identity and home and has been featured or is forthcoming in various journals including Electric Literature, Pinch, Write or Die, The Laurel Review, Phoebe Literature, and Taco Bell Quarterly.
Bleah (blay-uh) Patterson is a queer, southern poet born and raised in Texas. She has been a Pushcart and Best of Net nominee. Much of her work explores the contention between identity and home and has been featured or is forthcoming in various journals including Electric Literature, Pinch, Write or Die, The Laurel Review, Phoebe Literature, and Taco Bell Quarterly.