Kati Goldstein
SOURCREAM
Don’t add on
said the stepfather
at the therapist’s
office, said
the father’s
lawyers at the long
table, said the mother
again and again over
many years. There’s
what happened and
there’s extrapolations.
Don’t make those.
Just because
you feel raped
doesn’t mean you
were. Just because
something doesn’t
seem right
doesn’t make it wrong.
Just because
something seems
true doesn’t
mean it is. Just
because evidence
doesn’t mean
compelling.
Just because tears
don’t mean hurt.
Just because hurt
didn’t mean
stop. Just because
hurt isn’t always
someone else’s
fault. Don’t add on
because that’s how
you ruin good
people’s lives,
because what you
can’t remember can’t
count, because
you should have
counted the number
of times you awoke
sad & sore
but you didn’t,
couldn’t have
known to then
or that it might
matter later.
Later is now
and it’s too late.
You could have
ruined a bad
man’s life
but you didn’t
want to
add on.
said the stepfather
at the therapist’s
office, said
the father’s
lawyers at the long
table, said the mother
again and again over
many years. There’s
what happened and
there’s extrapolations.
Don’t make those.
Just because
you feel raped
doesn’t mean you
were. Just because
something doesn’t
seem right
doesn’t make it wrong.
Just because
something seems
true doesn’t
mean it is. Just
because evidence
doesn’t mean
compelling.
Just because tears
don’t mean hurt.
Just because hurt
didn’t mean
stop. Just because
hurt isn’t always
someone else’s
fault. Don’t add on
because that’s how
you ruin good
people’s lives,
because what you
can’t remember can’t
count, because
you should have
counted the number
of times you awoke
sad & sore
but you didn’t,
couldn’t have
known to then
or that it might
matter later.
Later is now
and it’s too late.
You could have
ruined a bad
man’s life
but you didn’t
want to
add on.
--
Kati Goldstein (she/her) is a writer and educator from Miami, Florida, who now lives in Chicago, Illinois. She holds an MFA in Poetry from Columbia College Chicago and a BA in Creative Writing from Colorado College. She is the author of the chapbook, Binge Watch (Finishing Line Press, 2017), and her work has appeared in Voicemail Poems, Red Eft Review, Columbia Poetry Review, as well as other publications.
Kati Goldstein (she/her) is a writer and educator from Miami, Florida, who now lives in Chicago, Illinois. She holds an MFA in Poetry from Columbia College Chicago and a BA in Creative Writing from Colorado College. She is the author of the chapbook, Binge Watch (Finishing Line Press, 2017), and her work has appeared in Voicemail Poems, Red Eft Review, Columbia Poetry Review, as well as other publications.