Hikari Miya

Four of Swords

why the hell / do I keep seeing / this card / in every reading / concerning me /
this is / an unnecessary / toxic / relationship
 
disturbed by the beauty of dreams / again call for the baku / but these dreams aren’t nightmare
enough / for him to pass by / maybe we’ve grown too old
 
fall again / into pill-induced melatonin enhanced sleep / see his leering face / hear his whining
taunting voice / sweat seeps through to reality / rub the dampness deeper
 
soft gray dawn light is shocking / blankets are pulled over head / count faded stars / cloud heavy
sheep / rolling oranges / wonder when sleep will mean recovery
 
pull on sweats / an old college t-shirt / walk around the ditch bank / in black sandals heating /
dusty feet / marvel at the existence / of so many circling swallows
 
finally open / the untouched novel / savor every page / sit sun drenched / on window ledge /
stretch like a cat / hum an old tune / bless the weight of a stone / warmed by hands
 
play the melody / itching on fingers / out into the piano / brightness breaking / moonlit skies / lay
​back in beanbag chair / stare into closed eyelids / become breathing metronome / timeless 

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Hikari Leilani Miya is a Japanese Filipina American, 2019 Cornell University English major graduate, and a current poetry MFA candidate at the University of San Francisco who identifies with the LGBTQ community. She is the assistant poetry editor for USFCA’s literary magazine, Invisible City (formerly Switchback). She has one previous poetry publication (under Kari Miya) in Cornell’s Writer’s Bloc, five poems published by Canadian publisher Fleas on the Dog in Issue Seven, and her poetry has appeared in the Johnson Art Museum at Cornell University. She currently lives with her two snakes and visually impaired cat, but has a menagerie of other pets at home in the Central Valley of California.