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  • Issue #27 Spring 2024
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    • Issue #28 Poetry Fall 2024 >
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  • Issue #29 Spring 2025
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      • Irina Greciuhina Spring 2025
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      • Diego Báez Spring 2025
      • Jaswinder Bolina Spring 2025
      • ​Ash Bowen Spring 2025
      • Christian J. Collier Spring 2025
      • ​Shou Jie Eng Spring 2025
      • Sara Fitzpatrick Spring 2025
      • Matthew Gilbert Spring 2025
      • Tammy C. Greenwood Spring 2025
      • Alejandra Hernández ​Spring 2025
      • Ben Kline ​Spring 2025
      • ​David Moolten Spring 2025
      • ​Tamer Mostafa Spring 2025
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      • Cynthia Neely Spring 2025
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      • Qurrat ul Ain Raza Abbas Spring 2025

Jennifer Jackson Berry

When I Was a Girl VII


​fear was: bleeding through the pad, being picked last,
taking off my shoes, weigh in with a clueless nurse, repeat
of the dodge ball to the gut or running
 
the mile, boobs too small (others) or so big (me) running
gave black eyes & back aches, removing summer’s last
sun-in streaks mid-October with hair dye too dark, repeat
 
of English teacher asking if anything’s wrong, repeat
of the visit to the therapist’s office, running
through the list of reasons why black hair isn’t a last
 
cry for help: last line repeated to anyone who listened:
          I’m always running


When I Was a Girl VIII


​fashion was: anything slimming, vertical stripes, black, but
nothing exactly like a skinny girl’s because of the inevitable
comparisons.  puffy paint, jackets laced with novelty pins.
 
pegged jeans, jeans pegged tight with a safety pin
so no bending over to fix the cuffs & showing my butt.
then sports team shirts, British Knights, Bugle Boy & inevitable
 
androgyny of same.  baggy & boyish inevitably
hid what everyone else showed.  the anti-pin-
-up. & just in case, sweaters long enough to cover my butt.
 
fashion makes the woman, but inevitably girls like me are pinned,
          stuck between butch & a soft place.


Post Miscarriage: Day 41


I didn’t wash my hair today so it’s up in a ponytail.
In another poem, boys grabbed my ponytails, pre-doggie style.
There’s nothing more girlish than a ponytail.
There’s nothing less ladylike, or more fun, than doggie style.
When I sleep, I wear no bra & hair in a ponytail.
Sex isn’t the same since.  Even when it’s doggie style.
 
My back fat jiggles when we do it doggy style.
You can only see my grays in a ponytail.
You’d think that alone would keep me from my ponytail.
Even before, I rarely slept after, because I can’t come doggie style.
You’d think that alone would keep me from doggie style.
My husband was instructed early on: Don’t pull the ponytail.
 
Don’t push my head down to your crotch, ponytail
or not.  But sometimes, it’s all I want: doggie style
with my ass in the air, doggie style
with a pillow clutched in my fists, ponytail
pulled taut.  Lately, it’s not what I want: doggie style
or any way at all.  At night, I still do the ponytail,
 
but I haven’t slept in over two weeks.  I use the ponytail
to keep myself presentable in case I don’t shower.  A ponytail
does that.  I wish a ponytail could make me want doggie style.
I want to want it doggie style.
I wish it could do more, my ponytail.
I wish I couldn’t get pregnant doggie style.
 
We have to wait for one more cycle before it can be doggie style
sans condom.  I will worry my pretty little ponytail,
because I’m starting to think I don’t want a life of ponytails
& baby dolls, ponytails & birthday parties, ponytails
& anything.  I don’t want to have to explain doggie style
to anyone who has to ask “What’s doggie style?”
 
How would I even explain doggie style?
When two people love each other very much, doggie style
is a beautiful thing.  When two people want it dirty, doggie style
is an easy way to be a lil bit dirty.  Your ponytail
is crooked, honey, let me fix your ponytail.
That’s better, go show your Daddy your ponytail.
 
Doggie style is on my mind; like a school girl, I twirl my ponytail.
I imagine doggy style, his hand on my hip, his hand pulling my ponytail.
Imagine doggy style is all I do.  I’m disconnected.  I fix my ponytail.


 


--
Jennifer Jackson Berry works as a claims adjuster for a mass transit bus line in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She holds degrees from the University of Pittsburgh and Indiana University’s MFA program. Her poetry has recently appeared in SOFTBLOW, The Chaffey Review, and is forthcoming in Saudade Review.

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  • Home
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  • Issue #27 Spring 2024
    • Issue #27 Art Spring 2024 >
      • Kristina Erny Spring 2024
      • Luiza Maia Spring 2024
      • Christy Lee Rogers Spring 2024
      • Erika Lynet Salvador Spring 2024
      • Marsha Solomon Spring 2024
    • Issue #27 Poetry Spring 2024 >
      • Terry Belew Spring 2024
      • Dustin Brookshire​ & Diamond Forde Spring 2024 Spring 2024
      • Dustin Brookshire​ & Caridad Moro-Gronlier Spring 2024 Spring 2024
      • Charlie Coleman Spring 2024
      • Isabelle Doyle Spring 2024
      • Reyzl Grace Spring 2024
      • Kelly Gray Spring 2024
      • Meredith Herndon Spring 2024
      • Mina Khan Spring 2024
      • Anoushka Kumar Spring 2024
      • Cate Latimer Spring 2024
      • BEE LB Spring 2024
      • Grace Marie Liu​ Spring 2024
      • Sarah Mills Spring 2024
      • Faisal Mohyuddin 2024
      • Marcus Myers Spring 2024
      • Mike Puican Spring 2024
      • Sarah Sorensen Spring 2024
      • Lynne Thompson Spring 2024
      • Natalie Tombasco Spring 2024
      • Alexandra van de Kamp Spring 2024
      • Donna Vorreyer Spring 2024
    • Fiction #27 Spring 2024 >
      • Bryan Betancur Spring 2024
      • Karen George Spring 2024
      • Raja'a Khalid Spring 2024
      • Riley Manning Spring 2024
      • Adina Polatsek Spring 2024
      • Beth Sherman Spring 2024
    • Nonfiction #27 Spring 2024 >
      • Liza Olson Spring 2024
  • Issue #28 Fall 2024
    • Issue #28 Art Fall 2024 >
      • Eric Calloway Fall 2024
      • Matthew Fertel Fall 2024
      • JooLee Kang Fall 2024
      • Jian Kim Fall 2024
      • Robb Kunz Fall 2024
      • Sean Layh Fall 2024
    • Issue #28 Poetry Fall 2024 >
      • Jodi Balas Fall 2024
      • Clayre Benzadón Fall 2024
      • Catherine Broadwall Fall 2024
      • Sara Burge Fall 2024
      • Judith Chalmer Fall 2024
      • Stephanie Choi Fall 2024
      • Sarah Jack Fall 2024
      • Jen Karetnick Fall 2024
      • Ae Hee Lee Fall 2024
      • Svetlana Litvinchuk Fall 2024
      • Mary Lou Buschi Fall 2024
      • Angie Macri Fall 2024
      • Gary McDowell Fall 2024
      • Sam Moe Fall 2024
      • Camille Newsom Fall 2024
      • Elizabeth O'Connell- Thompson Fall 2024
      • Olatunde Osinaike Fall 2024
      • Jessica Pierce Fall 2024
      • Diane Raptosh Fall 2024
      • Isaac Richards Fall 2024
      • Robyn Schelenz Fall 2024
      • Christopher Shipman Fall 2024
      • Alex Tretbar Fall 2024
      • Ruth Williams Fall 2024
      • Shannon K. Winston Fall 2024
      • Wendy Wisner Fall 2024
      • Anne Gerard Fall 2024
    • Issue #28 Fiction Fall 2024 >
      • J​oe Baumann Fall 2024
      • ​Morganne Howell Fall 2024
      • Matt Paczkowski Fall 2024
      • Ryan Peed Fall 2024
      • Gabriella Pitts Fall 2024
      • James Sullivan Fall 2024
  • Issue #29 Spring 2025
    • Issue #29 Art Spring 2025 >
      • Irina Greciuhina Spring 2025
      • Jesse Howard Spring 2025
      • Paul Simmons Spring 2025
      • Marsha Solomon Spring 2025
      • Elzbieta Zdunek Spring 2025
      • Na Yoon Amelia Cha-Ryu Spring 2025
    • Issue #29 Poetry Spring 2025 >
      • Deborah Bacharach Spring 2025
      • Diego Báez Spring 2025
      • Jaswinder Bolina Spring 2025
      • ​Ash Bowen Spring 2025
      • Christian J. Collier Spring 2025
      • ​Shou Jie Eng Spring 2025
      • Sara Fitzpatrick Spring 2025
      • Matthew Gilbert Spring 2025
      • Tammy C. Greenwood Spring 2025
      • Alejandra Hernández ​Spring 2025
      • Ben Kline ​Spring 2025
      • ​David Moolten Spring 2025
      • ​Tamer Mostafa Spring 2025
      • ​Rongfei Mu Spring 2025
      • Cynthia Neely Spring 2025
      • Pablo Otavalo Spring 2025
      • ​Bleah Patterson Spring 2025
      • ​M.A. Scott Spring 2025
      • ​Liam Strong ​ Spring 2025
      • Alexandra van de Kamp Spring 2025
      • ​Cassandra Whitaker Spring 2025
      • Angelique Zobitz Spring 2025
    • Issue #29 Fiction Spring 2025 >
      • Vanessa Blakeslee Spring 2025
      • K. J. Coyle Spring 2025
      • Meredith MacLeod Davidson Spring 2025
      • Jessica Mosher Spring 2025
    • Issue #29 Nonfiction Spring 2025 >
      • JM Huscher Spring 2025
      • Qurrat ul Ain Raza Abbas Spring 2025