I try to teach my mother algebra but have to excuse myself to go and cry in the car. Do you see how odd we are? Here’s the order of operations: Take the heart, leave the head, and measure the length of the tongue. Essentially, we learn to divide, first, stupid.
-- Mathew Serback is a sleepwalker, but he doesn't know it. Every night, in his sleep, he takes the pillow out of its case, twirls to the kitchen case-in-hand, and fills the bag with a large assortment of M&M's. Every morning, he wakes up with neck pain. His pillow remains unchecked, his M&M's, uneaten.