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  • Issue 22 Fall 2021
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Maureen Langloss

Distant Fires


Hannah hadn’t told anyone she was pregnant again. Instead she packed grapes in ice, purchased a large thermos for the soup, made sandwiches on baguettes. Between her shoulders, a little off-kilter, sat a child’s backpack, stuffed to near bursting. She and Sean had trouble keeping up. He, because his wheels were so small, his legs just barely five. She, because the bike basket was heavier on the left and the backpack was angled toward the river and the river itself was a weight, a wet moon, drawing her to it. Her red Schwinn refused to run parallel on the narrow dirt path.
          The late October day was supposed to be crisp. Rich with the smell of fallen leaves, of fires from distant chimneys. But instead, a muggy heat smothered every fragrant thing. Even the river seemed bogged down; it meandered in and out of the rocks along the bank as if unable or unwilling to get anywhere in a hurry. Hannah was out of breath. She grunted and pumped harder. She didn’t want to lose sight of her husband. He was ahead with his work friend Rebecca and her husband Ezra. Their bikes, mere specks, wove in and out of each other in perfect waltz. 1, 2, 3 // 1, 2, 3. Hannah thought she heard Paul’s laugh rise from his stomach and spill into the air like firecrackers.
          Her stomach was sweaty. Every inch of her was perspiring. The saleswoman had convinced her this sweater was perfect for fall picnics, but now it seemed dumb. She’d outgrow it in a matter of weeks. If only she’d dressed like Rebecca. Athletic gear and a ponytail. Working women were so practical. And so thin. That morning, Hannah had finished unraveling the curlers from her hair in the kitchen, using the oven glass as a mirror, while she added chives to the soup and stuffed supplies into the backpack. She thought she’d used enough Aqua Net, but all the hair spray in the world couldn’t stand up to this oily air.
          “Come, Sean,” she said. “Pick up the pace.”
          They ate in a grassy clearing overlooking the river, among the crab apple trees. Hannah poured mugs of potato-leek soup and passed out sandwiches. At the library, she’d scoured every issue of Gourmet from 1977 to 1979 to find just the right recipes. Was thinly-sliced beef tenderloin and horseradish over brie sophisticated enough? She didn’t know what she’d been thinking, inviting Rebecca. It was too much pressure. And for a bike ride! Rebecca’s an active, outdoorsy woman, Paul always said. Hannah longed to release herself from the hot sweater. But the blouse underneath was soaked through; it cleaved to her fleshy parts.
          “Why did you bring soup?” Paul asked. “It’s too hot for soup.”
          “I think it’s lovely,” Rebecca said as she blew gently on her spoon. The way she said lovely was lovely.
          Hannah stuffed her hands into her sweater pockets, which were shaped like fat baby pumpkins. Stupid sweater. She listened for the sound of the river, but all the chewing drowned it out. The baguette was hard to bite; the beef required extra work of the jaw. Its bloody smell ruined Hannah’s appetite.
          “I don’t like this cheese,” Sean whined. “It burns.”
          “Just eat. It’s good,” Hannah said.
          “Didn’t you bring any kid food? He can’t eat horseradish,” Paul said—beef between his molars.
          She watched him rip another bite from the baguette, moving his head back and forth like an animal. She felt ill, revolted. When they were first married, she was so enchanted by the intensity he gave to everything he did. How his body was always passing electric shocks to hers. Now, she breathed deeply, counting in for five and out for five. She couldn’t get sick in front of Rebecca, whose genetic research was receiving all sorts of attention. According to Paul, she’d been named to one of President Carter’s task forces. A woman like that didn’t belong with vomiting mothers who hadn’t even finished community college. Hannah lowered her eyes from the chewing, from the tug of the river, until the queasiness passed.
          “Paul tells me you went to the Ivy League,” she eventually said to Rebecca.
          “The Ivy League isn’t a place,” Paul said. “She went to Yale. Triple-dipped. Undergrad, med school, PhD.” 
          Hannah thought she might still have her spiral notebook from Introduction to Geology in a box somewhere.
          “Mommy, this soup tastes funny.”
          She passed Sean some grapes.
          “There is a unique flavor,” Ezra agreed.
          Hannah poured herself a cup. A chemical taste preceded its heat. Aqua Net.
          She must have spritzed hairspray into the soup.
          “What’d you put in this stuff?” Paul asked.
          A fresh rush of perspiration. A hot flash. While Hannah considered her reply, Sean grabbed a crab apple from a tree. He plunked it in his father’s soup. It landed with a noise like an audience clapping. The thick cream splattered onto Paul’s face and into his eye. He screamed at his son, screamed at his wife. Fucking soup. Hannah noticed a pile of rocks just behind Paul. Someone had carefully balanced them, one on top of the other, in the shape of a small dwelling.
          “I’m pregnant again,” Hannah said, not knowing why she chose this moment to say it, why she hadn’t told Paul before. She was already twenty weeks. Probably too late to--
          Paul pushed the soup aside and hugged her tightly—with his whole body. When he finished, she put her hand on her stomach, feeling around for the little body of water inside her, wondering if the membrane around it could pop.
          Ezra wore the backpack for the return ride, and Paul moved the basket to his bike. But even without the extra load, Hannah’s Schwinn wouldn’t obey a straight line; it veered again and again toward the river like they shared a secret kinship. The world was dissolving into particles. Hannah thought she might overheat. She took one last look at Sean—little legs pedaling so hard—before riding her bike down the steep bank. Velocity accumulated until she slipped into the river, relinquishing her heat to the cool rush of the water. The current was stronger than she expected.
​





--
Maureen Langloss is a lawyer-turned-writer living in New York City. She serves as the Flash Fiction Editor at Split Lip Magazine. Her writing has appeared in Gulf Coast, Little Fiction, Sonora Review, The Journal, Wigleaf, and elsewhere. Her work was selected for the 2019 Best Small Fictions anthology and has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net. You can find her on Twitter @maureenlangloss.

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  • Home
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  • Issue 22 Fall 2021
    • Issue #22 Art Fall 2021 >
      • Bonnie Severien Fall 2021
      • Camilla Taylor Fall 2021
      • Guilherme Bergamini Fall 2021
      • Emanuela Iorga Fall 2021
    • Issue #22 Poetry Fall 2021 >
      • Maureen Alsop Fall 2021
      • Annah Browning Fall 2021
      • Romana Iorga Fall 2021
      • Natalie Hampton Fall 2021
      • Sherine Gilmour Fall 2021
      • Adam Day Fall 2021
      • Amanda Auchter Fall 2021
      • Adam Tavel Fall 2021
      • Sara Moore Fall 2021
      • Karen Rigby Fall 2021
      • Daniel Zhang Fall 2021
      • Erika Lutzner Fall 2021
      • Kindall Fredricks Fall 2021
      • Cin Salach Fall 2021
      • Andrew Zawacki Fall 2021
      • Micah Ruelle Fall 2021
      • Rachel Stempel Fall 2021
      • Haley Wooning Fall 2021
      • Rikki Santer Fall 2021
      • Evy Shen Fall 2021
      • Suzanne Frischkorn Fall 2021
      • Danielle Rose Fall 2021
      • Eric Burgoyne Fall 2021
      • John Cullen Fall 2021
      • Maureen Seaton Fall 2021
      • Hannah Stephens Fall 2021
    • Issue #22 Nonfiction Fall 2021 >
      • Kevin Grauke Fall 2021
      • Courtney Justus Fall 2021
      • Amy Nicholson Fall 2021
    • Issue #22 Fiction Fall 2021 >
      • Tina Jenkins Bell Fall 2021
      • David Obuchowski Fall 2021
      • Thomas Misuraca Fall 2021
      • Aiden Baker Fall 2021
      • Jenny Magnus Fall 2021
  • Issue 23 Spring 2022
    • Issue #23 Art Spring 2022 >
      • Jonathan Kvassay Spring 2022
      • Karyna McGlynn Spring 2022
      • Andrea Kowch Spring 2022
      • Layla Garcia-Torres Spring 2022
    • Issue #23 Poetry Spring 2022 >
      • Robin Gow Spring 2022
      • T.D. Walker Spring 2022
      • Jen Schalliol Huang Spring 2022
      • Yvonne Zipter Spring 2022
      • Carrie McGath Spring 2022
      • Lupita Eyde-Tucker Spring 2022
      • Susan L. Leary Spring 2022
      • Kate Sweeney Spring 2022
      • Rita Mookerjee Spring 2022
      • Erin Carlyle Spring 2022
      • Cori Bratty-Rudd Spring 2022
      • Jen Karetnick Spring 2022
      • Meghan Sterling Spring 2022
      • Lorelei Bacht Spring 2022
      • Michael Passafiume Spring 2022
      • Jeannine Hall Gailey Spring 2022
      • Phil Goldstein Spring 2022
      • Michael Mingo Spring 2022
      • Angie Macri Spring 2022
      • Martha Silano Spring 2022
      • Vismai Rao Spring 2022
      • Anna Laura Reeve Spring 2022
      • Jenny Irish Spring 2022
      • Marek Kulig Spring 2022
      • Jami Macarty Spring 2022
      • Sarah A. Rae Spring 2022
      • Brittney Corrigan Spring 2022
      • Callista Buchen Spring 2022
      • Issam Zineh Spring 2022
      • MICHAEL CHANG Spring 2022
      • henry 7. reneau, jr. Spring 2022
      • Leah Umansky Spring 2022
      • Cody Beck Spring 2022
      • Danyal Kim Spring 2022
      • Rachel DeWoskin Spring 2022
    • Issue #23 Fiction Spring 2022 >
      • Melissa Boberg Spring 2022
    • Issue #23 Nonfiction Spring 2022 >
      • Srinaath Perangur Spring 2022
      • Audrey T. Carroll Spring 2022
  • Issue #24 Fall 2022
    • Issue #24 Art Fall 2022 >
      • Marsha Solomon Fall 2022
      • Edward Lee Fall 2022
      • Harryette Mullen Fall 2022
      • Jezzelle Kellam Fall 2022
      • Irina Greciuhina Fall 2022
      • Natalie Christensen Fall 2022
      • Mark Yale Harris Fall 2022
      • Amy Nelder Fall 2022
      • Bette Ridgeway Fall 2022
      • Ursula Sokolowska Fall 2022
    • Issue #24 Poetry Fall 2022 >
      • William Stobb Fall 2022
      • e Fall 2022
      • Stefanie Kirby Fall 2022
      • Lisa Ampleman Fall 2022
      • Will Cordeiro Fall 2022
      • Jesica Davis Fall 2022
      • Peter O'Donovan Fall 2022
      • Mackenzie Carignan Fall 2022
      • Jason Fraley Fall 2022
      • Barbara Saunier Fall 2022
      • Chad Weeden Fall 2022
      • Nick Rattner Fall 2022
      • Cynthia Schwartzberg Edlow Fall 2022
      • Summer J. Hart Fall 2022
      • Daniel Suá​rez Fall 2022
      • Sara Kearns Fall 2022
      • Millicent Borges Accardi Fall 2022
      • Liz Robbins Fall 2022
      • john compton Fall 2022
      • Esther Sadoff Fall 2022
      • Whitney Koo Fall 2022
      • W. J. Lofton Fall 2022
      • Rachel Reynolds Fall 2022
      • Kimberly Ann Priest Fall 2022
      • Annie Przypyszny Fall 2022
      • Konstantin Kulakov Fall 2022
      • Nellie Cox Fall 2022
      • Jennifer Martelli Fall 2022
      • SM Stubbs Fall 2022
      • Joshua Bird Fall 2022
    • Issue #24 Fiction Fall 2022 >
      • Otis Fuqua Fall 2022
      • Hannah Harlow Fall 2022
      • Natalia Nebel Fall 2022
      • Kate Maxwell Fall 2022
      • Helena Pantsis Fall 2022
    • Issue #24 Nonfiction Fall 2022 >
      • Courtney Ludwick Fall 2022
      • Anna Oberg Fall 2022
      • Acadia Currah Fall 2022