SM Stubbs
Asylum Ghosts
I’ve never known how to manage a flock,
how to gather strays to my side. Everyone
wanders from any field where I’m in charge.
I beg, plead, cajole and tantalize but only my
phantoms stick around. I study the underworld
while I’m dreaming because I need to know
what to expect before I’m damned with my
sins pinned like mittens to my sleeves. After
I ghost this earth I’ll reappear with my skin in
strips and a hive of wasps for a mouth. It’ll be
nice to move without gravity’s unwanted
attention, no more needles haunting my joints.
I tell you the world isn’t ready to meet me
unburdened by myself but when I said me
I meant the world. Your god is not my god
is not the pale spirit of our daily crucifixion.
I’ve never known how to manage a flock,
how to gather strays to my side. Everyone
wanders from any field where I’m in charge.
I beg, plead, cajole and tantalize but only my
phantoms stick around. I study the underworld
while I’m dreaming because I need to know
what to expect before I’m damned with my
sins pinned like mittens to my sleeves. After
I ghost this earth I’ll reappear with my skin in
strips and a hive of wasps for a mouth. It’ll be
nice to move without gravity’s unwanted
attention, no more needles haunting my joints.
I tell you the world isn’t ready to meet me
unburdened by myself but when I said me
I meant the world. Your god is not my god
is not the pale spirit of our daily crucifixion.
Asylum Episode
The scene opens when I’m in third grade and allow
a grown man to touch my body. This
sets the tone for the rest of me. It’s where I begin
before the fall into another world,
before my elaborate complications set in. I forget
who I am for many years and some
argue I lost the plot but the truth is, I spent time
in the middle deciphering meaning
amidst the chaos. The way “chromatic” can refer
to light or to music is important
to know before the second act ends – even if I think
they’re the same. I’ll overcome
the obstacles before anyone has to tabulate their
losses and/or after we celebrate
under a disco ball. Bewilderment followed by a sip
of happiness, for the lucky ones.
In the time between monsters sniff at our necks
attempting to pinpoint the spots
where we might be our most vulnerable. They open
their jaws. They swallow us whole.
The scene opens when I’m in third grade and allow
a grown man to touch my body. This
sets the tone for the rest of me. It’s where I begin
before the fall into another world,
before my elaborate complications set in. I forget
who I am for many years and some
argue I lost the plot but the truth is, I spent time
in the middle deciphering meaning
amidst the chaos. The way “chromatic” can refer
to light or to music is important
to know before the second act ends – even if I think
they’re the same. I’ll overcome
the obstacles before anyone has to tabulate their
losses and/or after we celebrate
under a disco ball. Bewilderment followed by a sip
of happiness, for the lucky ones.
In the time between monsters sniff at our necks
attempting to pinpoint the spots
where we might be our most vulnerable. They open
their jaws. They swallow us whole.
--
A former bar owner, SM Stubbs has been nominated for the Pushcart and Best New Poets; recipient of a scholarship and staff member at Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference; winner of the 2019 Rose Warner Poetry Prize from The Freshwater Review; finalist for the Gunpowder Press Barry Spacks Prize 2022. His work has appeared in numerous magazines, including New Ohio Review, Poetry Northwest, Puerto del Sol, Raleigh Review, Post Road, Crab Creek Review, December, and The Rumpus.
A former bar owner, SM Stubbs has been nominated for the Pushcart and Best New Poets; recipient of a scholarship and staff member at Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference; winner of the 2019 Rose Warner Poetry Prize from The Freshwater Review; finalist for the Gunpowder Press Barry Spacks Prize 2022. His work has appeared in numerous magazines, including New Ohio Review, Poetry Northwest, Puerto del Sol, Raleigh Review, Post Road, Crab Creek Review, December, and The Rumpus.